Losing My Religion; Or, Goodbye Chicago

Something happened this weekend. Something meaningful. Though, not cheerful. I can best describe my emotions with one word: Sobering.

What I'm feeling is somewhat euphoric, but at the same time solemn. It's that same feeling one gets after the end of a long, torrid relationship. When one person makes the decision to end what can best be described as a series of disappointments, regardless of a few moments of joy sprinkled throughout. Eventually, the love affair must end. Eventually, you have to ask yourself, "How many times am I going to allow him/her to let me down?" "How long will I continue devoting so much of myself to this relationship with little or nothing in return?"

I am speaking about the Chicago Cubs. The best team in the National League this year. Swept by the Dodgers as if they were some crappy Wild Card team lucky to even be in the playoffs. My anger and shame go beyond words, so I will not sit here and make you read some sad tirade about why the Cubs suck, etc.

Instead, I will tell you that I am embarrassed to wear my Cubs hat. I can't do it. I can't walk around in public with that thing on my head.

You see, there is only so much abuse one can take from something he loves. Eventually, you have to step back and ask yourself, "What am I getting out this?" I have stood by my losing team loss after loss, but this one feels different. This one cuts deeper. This one is making me question my relationship with baseball in general.

Mentally, I'm tired. The season is long. And I don't know if I can do it again. I can't go all season knowing the Cubs are the best team in baseball only to lose it so quickly in the postseason.

Poof. Gone. Like it never existed.

Right now that's me. Poof. Gone.

If I had to decide right now whether or not to continue my thankless relationship with baseball I'd say so long. If I had to decide RIGHT NOW - I'm out. I'm done.

If this were a relationship with a woman, I would've dumped her ass a long time ago.

So... What does the future hold? Well, I guess we'll see. Maybe the Cubs and I will bump into each other somewhere down the road. Maybe not. Can't say. And honestly, I don't really care.

Moving forward... I think I'll go watch some football. (Bears won yesterday.)

Johnny Rotten's Butter!

Johnny Rotten is schlepping for butter. These are truly dark days.



"It's not about Great Britain, it's about great butter!" And that, children, is how we won the Revolutionary War.

You're Registered, Right?

Homer Tries to Vote Obama

Dear God

Let's be honest - We both know I don't really believe in you. (Heck, I got more proof of the existence of Santa Claus, but I digress.) But there are times in my life when I think What If? Actually, it's not What If, but rather Just In Case. And as an open-minded, intelligent person, I have much respect for all the religions of the world. I would never belittle any of them. Though I don't subscribe to their faerie tale creation stories and magical wizard-like powers that some of the main characters supposedly had, I do find that there is a strong, powerful energy surrounding the people who truly devote all their faith to it. Regardless of my beliefs, that power cannot be denied.

Now, this energy, this power I speak of, THAT is real. And THAT is what I hold in deep regard. Granted, for some, it takes the man-made stories of religion to bring it out, but I am a firm believer in this energy. It is an energy that existed in our universe long before simple humans climbed out of the murk. And this energy we all hold, I believe it controls every facet of our daily lives. The way in which we harness this energy, or the way we use it, positively or negatively, defines the outcome of everything we do. (BTW, this is why I believe "prayer" works... sometimes.)

Anyway, God, back to my point: I need to ask you for a favor. The Chicago Cubs are playing baseball tonight. (I'm sure you already knew that considering baseball is the second best gift handed down by one of your angels.) And, well, I'm NOT going to ask you to help them win. No. But what I do ask is if they lose, please let it be because the other team was better. If they lose, don't let it be because of some flukey, strange event that miraculously occurs. No black cats. No Steve Bartmans. No earthquakes. No meteorites. Just let them play baseball. And if the other team wins because they're truly better, I'll be ok with that.

You see, I'm a bit nervous this year. I'm nervous because they actually have a chance to go all the way. When it comes to baseball, I am superstitious. And when it comes to the Cubs, I prefer not to talk about them. But there's no use hiding anymore. They have a good chance of going all the way. But only if YOU prevent the unexpected from happening.

So please, God, please let them play normal, traditional baseball. Like I said, I have no problem with losing (heck, we're used to it), but don't let it be because a piece of the International Space Station accidentally broke off and fell to Earth landing on Wrigley Field. Please.

Sincerely,
Jason

P.S. Eamus Catuli!

I Vote For Bacon

(Tipping my hat to you, Elwood.)

Maybe Not

So the new dog doesn't appear to be permanent. He's a good dog. He just isn't fitting in very well. It's not a good match, as Lynette said. Also, he's HUGE. And I think our small condo is not appropriate for his energy level. Also, Leia has gotten stepped on, pushed aside, walked over, and nearly peed on. And that sort of behavior will not stand. I think we're better as a one dog family. Fortunately, we're only fostering him. We can give him back to the adoption agency without complication. I honestly think he deserves a more appreciative family for the type of happy, energetic dog that he is.

So anyway- Lynette's radiator cracked last night. Car went to the shop. That's the kind of week we're having.

RIP Paul Newman

You will be missed.

Happy Friday, Everybody!

In light of our country's impending financial doom, I'd like to be the first to say I'm glad it's Friday.

Sure, it's raining and Fall's chill has arrived and Mercury is in retrograde and banks are imploding and the Republican presidential candidate might not show up for tonight's debate and the Bears' quarterback sucks and our Xerox machine needs toner, but this is going to be a glorious weekend.

Why? Because we're getting another dog.

Yup. Leia will soon have a companion. We have decided to adopt another greyhound. In fact, Lynette even stated once that we will never get a different breed of dog. It's hard to explain how these dogs aren't like typical dogs. They're so calm and graceful - they radiate soothing, comfortable feelings throughout the house. It's hard not to be overcome with positive energy when in the presence of these creatures.

Anyway, we pick him up tomorrow afternoon. To be safe, we're only fostering him with intent to adopt, in case he doesn't quite mesh with our lives. But I'm optimistic. In these days, you have to be.

So, like I said, it's Friday, and I see nothing but beauty and good times ahead.
JC

McCain's Biggest Mistake: Pissing Off Dave

He blew off Letterman. For Katie Couric. Not cool, John. Not cool.

I don't care who you are - you never, ever, ever anger Mr. Letterman. Senator McCain might get away with canceling the debate, but this cancellation may be the final nail...


This just in: The McCain campaign continues to act like that drunk chick at your party who just broke your mom's lamp... McCain suggests moving Friday's debate to next Thursday thereby postponing the vice presidential debate. Is anyone falling for these ploys? Seriously. You're going to have to let her out of her crate sooner or later.

Becky Likes You

Have you heard my podcast yet? No? Well, that's because I haven't told many people about it. It's called Becky Likes You and I think it's real neat. You might, too.

Be warned, it's got swears and stuff. I wouldn't play it with children in the room. Or parents. Also, don't tell too many people about it because I'm not paying any royalties to the music industry for using their songs. With that said, please don't steal the songs from the podcast. Come on, guys, seriously, don't.

Time Out!

John McCain is like the kid who calls time out right before he gets smashed in the face with a dodge ball. Nice try, Senator, but you will be expected to show up at that debate on Friday.

Why didn't anyone tell me?!

I read in The Washington Post this morning that Lindsay Lohan has confirmed that she is dating a woman. Dating. A woman. Nerds everywhere (considering they read the Style section of The Washington Post) all had simultaneous dirty thoughts on this Wednesday morning of September 24, 2008.

See! You're having one right now! There! I'm not the only one!

(*Yes, I know, this post is coming across as incredibly crude and shallow, but I cannot deny that thing that makes me a man: 1. The strong attraction toward Lindsay Lohan; and 2. The sight of attractive women gettin' it on with each other. **If you're a man and you deny these desires than you, sir, are a filthy liar.)

UPDATE: Clay Aiken also came out today. For those of you who think of Clay in similar fashion. (I'm all about fairness in reporting. Thanks, Elwood.)

Heroes 3

So I watched the season premiere of Heroes last night. It was good. The first season was awesome. I mean really awesome. But then season 2 lost me about halfway through because it started to drag on. So I actually never saw a bunch of episodes from last year.

But I guess it didn't matter because, as NBC says it, "Everything is new." Without actually saying it, I got the gist after watching the cheesy, lame, one-hour "red carpet" (which was fake) special last night that NBC pretty much realizes that last year sucked. One of the cast members actually said, "Didn't watch last season? No problem!"

With that said, I watched last night NOT knowing what happened at the end of last season and NBC was right - Skipping season two didn't matter.

Anyway, last night's episode was good, like I said. It didn't blow me away like nearly every episode in season 1, but I got into it. I can tell it risks losing me again if they continue to perpetuate the same future end-of-the-world storyline.

But here's what will keep me watching: Villains. I like where they're taking this idea. Coincidentally, "Volume 3" is titled "Villains." Lucky me.

All the Way

"Some day we'll go all the way."

The Elitist

Which one is the elitist again?

I'm a PC

All you smarmy, hipster, Apple fanboy lam-o's can suck a big one:

Things I'm Looking Forward To

1. Meeting our new dog next weekend.
2. Baseball's post season (featuring a team I like, but won't talk about until it actually happens)
3. Seeing the new Ricky Gervais movie
4. The election of a Democratic president (finally)
5. A few video games: Fable 2, Gears of War 2, and Little Big Planet
6. The end of worrying about Lynette's job
7. The birth of Catherine's baby girl (this list is in no particular order)
8.
9.
10.

Pie Chart

Fifty People, One Question

Fifty People, One Question: Restored from Benjamin Reece on Vimeo

(from yesbutnobutyes)