Lets get Merried.

I'm a liberal guy.  I think abortion lies solely on a decision made by a woman.  I think homosexual people (or as Republicans like to call 'em, The Gays) absolutely should have the Constitutional right to marry each other.  I think money spent on wars (and all its related war-mongering enterprises) would be better spent domestically, (AKA Given to families who are barely making ends meet, or used to make EVERY school look like the one you see in wealthy neighborhoods.  While we're at it, let's build a few less bombs and use that money to give teachers a raise.  In fifty years when we're pledging allegiance to our Chinese overlords you're going to hear me say, "I told you so!"  The true defenses that our country should be building up is making our children the smartest in the world.  Instead, we squabble over whether or not it's feasible to fix the gaping hole in the social studies room, or if gym fits into the fiscal year budget.)

Now that I have painted myself pink, I'd like to say Merry Christmas.  Not Happy Holidays.  Not Seasons Greetings.  But rather Merry Christmas!  People (and businesses) that refuse to use the phrase Merry Christmas are cowards. Cowards!  We all know what you mean when you say, Happy Holidays.  It's like replacing fuck with fudge.  They mean the same thing.  In fact, the choice to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas communicates to the world, "I wish you a Merry Christmas, but I'm afraid of offending people I do not know, or offending people who don't believe in God or Christ, but are probably celebrating the holiday anyway." 

Look, it is what it is.  It's Merry Christmas.  It's true that the holiday has nearly lost all religious meaning for many people in this country.  That's okay because Christmas is still meaningful for everyone.  It's a time to come together as friends and families.  A time to give each other gifts.  A time to step out of our daily routines and appreciate what is grand in the world.

Yes, historically (a few thousand years at least) Christmas has been considered the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ.  We've all heard about how the original celebrations occurring around the same time were pagan in nature and stolen by the Romans, etc. etc. etc.  If you're a Christian you need no get defensive on this subject.  No one is taking your holiday away.  Likewise, non-Christians need not try to diminish the holiday's namesake.

So I'd like to wish all my Christian and agnostic friends a very Merry Christmas.  (And if y'all can't get along Santa Claus is going to pee in your stocking.)