Friday, September 28, 2007

Happy Friday, Everybody!

Let's take a moment to laugh at someone else's expense. This one's a classic, but it never gets old. The guy plays it cool afterward, which is the perfect move. Whereas I would be running out there crying like a toddler and screaming, "Shut up! It's not funny!"

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Where's Jason?


Last night we received a phone call from Blue Ridge Greyhound Adoption and found out that we were approved! Meaning we're fit to care for a dog. (It's actually more exciting than it sounds.)

Last week some people from the organization brought over some dogs and checked out our home to ensure we weren't living in a van down by the river. I suppose adopting a greyhound is a bit different from obtaining any other type of dog.

The greyhounds that go up for adoption are retired racers. They're typically two to three years old. Usually, the racetracks kill the dogs once they stop winning races. Organizations like BRGA are able to get a small percentage of these dogs into loving homes, but most are still killed.

Contrary to popular belief, greyhounds do not "need to run." They are very calm and laid back and rarely run for pleasure. They are raised by humans in kennels which makes them very tolerant and obedient. Lynette and I wanted to find an appropriate dog for our living situation. We knew we didn't want to subject an active dog to the small conditions of our condo. And we also took into consideration that we both work during the day. We wanted a dog that could handle being alone.

The next step is choosing a dog type: Size, color, gender. And then we'll have to come up with a name. Each dog will have a racing name, but we probably won't keep it. "Sit, Seabiscuit, sit. Good dog."

Monday, September 24, 2007

Family Guy: Star Wars Episode!

Anyone catch Family Guy last night? It was freakin' awesome! It was the Star Wars episode (and first episode of the season, I believe). Being an enthusiastic fan of both Star Wars and Family Guy, I was quite excited to tune in (yes, quite).

I was expecting an episode similar to the Robot Chicken send up of Star Wars where random scenes were selected for parody(which was very funny), but instead what we got was a nearly line-by-line rendition of the first Star Wars movie (Episode IV A New Hope, for the cool kids out there). Obviously, presented in sharp Family Guy style.

BTW, the end of the episode had Chris, voiced by Seth Green, asking how Robot Chicken, a show on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, created by Seth Green, beat Family Guy to the punch with the whole Star Wars thing (Robot Chicken has their own Star Wars episode where George Lucas himself contributed his voice). Peter's reply and hilarious criticism of Robot Chicken is classic. Which proves even further that no one is safe from the wonderful Family Guy ridicule that we have all grown to love ("Too soon?")

Favorite scene from last night: Darth Vader/Stewie suggesting they put a piece of plywood or something over the only vulnerable spot on the Death Star keeping anyone from possibly shooting a laser into it causing the entire thing to blow up.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

That's What She Said: Star Wars Edition

Pictures of the new house.

Due to popular demand, I have posted a few hastily taken photographs of the new house. You can access them from our web site (link is on the right).

We have lived there for two weeks now. We have managed to unpack about 90% of the boxes. Nothing is hung on the walls yet. But everything else seems to be in place.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Fire Alarm Works!

Last night we got to meet a few more neighbors. Outside at 10:00 PM. In our pajamas.

There we were, watching the end of The Biggest Loser, winding down from a typical Tuesday. When all of a sudden a loud painful noise burst into our quiet, comfortable living room. The fire alarm had begun ringing. Did I mention it was loud? I think my ears are still ringing.

We quickly gathered our shoes and went into the hall where our neighbors lingered and looked confused. I thought that since it was in fact the fire alarm ringing that perhaps going outside would be a good idea. We took the stairs where we found a very confused looking old man in a robe staring into the parking garage. "Let's go outside," I may have said. I can't remember. Loud ringing noise make JC's brain hurty. (BTW, he followed us outside... after he picked himself off the ground from when I knocked him down trying to get outside).

It wasn't until we got outside that I realized the front of my shirt was wet.
"How did I get wet?"
Lynette kindly said, "Dude, that's milk! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!" Or something like along those lines. Yup, I was enjoying a cool, refreshing glass of milk the moment the alarm sounded. According to my loving wife who saw everything, I was in mid-sip at the exact moment the alarm scared the crap out me. My arm jerked and I inadvertently threw milk in my own face. Whether or not milk was still dripping from my face as we rushed through the building I cannot say.

"Hey, did you see the guy with milk all over his face?" Hey, at least I had pants on.

Also, no, our single friend Catherine did not meet a fireman. I knew she should've been standing closer to the fire truck.

Monday, September 10, 2007


Every once in a while events occur in our lives that remind us that sometimes things suck. Unavoidable things. Like going to the post office or the dentist or the DMV. I knew the night before that I was going to be experiencing an unpleasant event. I knew it.

I had to go to the DMV to renew my driver's license. I chose a Saturday because I really don't have the luxury to take a whole day off to spend at the DMV. I knew it would be busy. But I had to do it. I had to.

I waited in line for one hour before I even came close to the entrance. Getting to the door didn't excite me though because I knew that once I got inside the door I'd be given a number and asked to wait even more. I was waiting to wait. But I tried not to let my brain get cynical. I pretended I was at Disney World waiting to get on a fun, new ride. "Weeeeee! Where's my clipboard?"

At least you get to sit in a chair once you slowly break through the front entrance. "Hey, I was ahead of that guy!" How did D431 get called before C238? Who's running this show?

"C238, please report to window 2." Yes! (This is where the fun begins.)

"When did you surrender your Virginia license?"
"Excuse me?" Apparently, I was in the state computer system as unlicensed because I apparently surrendered my license to another state. Um, no.

"I need to talk to my manager." Shit.

The next hour was spent in DMV Limbo. Like a lost soul destined to roam the dimension between the living and the dead, I stood in a corner of the room, invisible. Floating chin deep in a cacophony of crying babies and confused non-English speaking foreign people. I was told to wait, but I no longer had an official number. I was at the mercy of the DMV manager who was not anywhere I could see. "Did he forget about me?" "Is he at lunch?" "Who do I ask for assistance?" My anxiety was reaching dangerous levels. Innocent bystanders were about to get hurt. I was so angry I almost felt like swearing!

And then the DMV manager appeared. He sent me to a window and I got my new license. An explanation? Nope. Done and done. New license in hand, I was led out of the chaotic room by Lynette. I believe I said "Get me the hell out of here," and she put my hand on her shoulder and tore through the weary crowds like a lineman creating a path to the end zone for a embattled running back. Touchdown.

The whole experience made me think about all those uncomfortable, painful, annoying things in life that we have to endure. There are certain things we must do. Certain things we must earn. Does it build character? Perhaps. Will I do it again someday? Probably. Do I still feel like swearing? You know it, mother-(Shut your mouth!)

Friday, September 7, 2007

Happy Friday, Everybody!

Co-starring Marion Ross? Co-starring?!?! Are you kidding me? Mrs. C was the glue that held that family together!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Electric Limbo

Today's post is a simple statement acknowledging the lack of attention being paid to all things web. Jason and Lynette Dot Com needs to be updated, I know. And postings on this blog seem scarce, yes. But, hey, I just friggin' moved! Give me a break. The cardboard boxes holding up my monitor are starting to weaken and wilt. And my brain is struggling to find things witty enough for comment (must... unpack... another pair... of pants).

About the move, things are looking good. It's by far the nicest dwelling I ever inhabited. The kitchen is up and running. I'm nearly finished installing shelves in the closets. We made the obligatory trips to Ikea for Ikea-type stuff. This weekend will be spent unpacking all the boxes stacked throughout the place. Then after that I'll feel free and uncluttered.

By the way, we have photos to display including pictures of the new place and pictures from Pittsburgh. Until then, you can visit this site and be slightly entertained.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007