Thursday, July 29, 2010

USA! USA! USA!

But if I dare miss my monthly $172 payment to the Department of Education (aka student loan) you better believe those feds be chasing me through the streets like I'm Frankenstein's monster.  Our world can be so comical sometimes.  And don't get me started on providing healthcare to poor people!  The thought of my hard-earned tax dollars helping ragged-clothed, shoeless, street urchins sickens me. People with no money don't deserve to be healthy.

I have an idea!  Let's round up all those filthy beggars who have the gall to get healthy on my dime and send them to Iraq.  Then we can have them search for the missing money - like a scavenger hunt, or an Easter egg hunt!  Beauty!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

You

Just kidding.

Digusting

How do you screw up a fruit cup?  Wegman's figured out a way to do it. This is me on my way to the kitchen garbage can at work.

Sucker Punch

Go ahead and try to describe this movie - I dare ya.  I would start with the words, "kick ass," and "awesome," and "holy shit."   

Wildlife

Animals encountered during our vacation (smallest to biggest):

  • Chipmunk
  • Skunk
  • Deer
  • Bear

Monday, July 26, 2010

The Walking Dead

One of the best comic books I have read is being made into a series on AMC.  This trailer was shown at Comic-Con last week and secretly taped by a spectator.  Watch it while you can before it gets removed.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Saturday, July 17, 2010

mY brain R melting in mE skullz!



Seriously, this heat!  It's been years since we last saw relief from this oppression.  

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Diptych (What'd you call me?)

I've been admiring this photography technique for years and only tonight learned the actual name for it.  Diptych. It's when two images are placed side by side to show similarities, contrasts, whatever.  When it's done with three images it's called a triptych.

How'd I learn it? Apple taught me.  No, really.  The new iPhone 4 has come out with some kick ass photo apps recently and they just released one called Diptic.  Guess what it does?  All this time I've been creating mine in Photoshop.

Robe Guy

Things:
  • A woman called me Jim this morning.  I responded by calling her Pam.  She didn't get it.  Such is my life.
  • Some people read the newspaper on the train with the gusto of a dim-witted, intoxicated teenage gum-smacker.
  • A coworker is angry with me because I pointed out some dead roaches near her cubicle.  Like I decide where roaches die.
  • My dog is sick and I'm willing to bet I'll need to clean up vomit when I get home tonight. Need or want?  Or should?
  • My vacation starts in three days. Two not counting today.  I may or may not wear pants for the duration.  
  • Speaking of not wearing pants, I should buy a nice robe.  I can be a robe guy.  THEN I can start writing my novel...
  • I'll wait and ask for a robe at Christmas.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Howard Likes Lynette

Apparently, Howard Stern came back from vacation today and talked about how Lynette's channel Watercolors is his new favorite channel and that he played it during a 4th of July party. Shortly after his proclamation Lisa G from Howard 100 News contacted Lynette and did a short interview which aired during the afternoon replay of this morning's show. Listen to it here:

RIP Harvey Pekar





Little Bean

Imagine you're writing a fictional book, but it contains characters reflective of people you actually know.  You have to change the names to protect the confidentiality.  What are the names?  Think of the people around you, the people close to you, the people you despise, the people you love... What names do you give them?

Here's mine:

  • Annie
  • Ernest (Ernie)
  • Henry (Hank)
  • Chloe/Emily
  • Michael
  • Christy
  • Davey/Dom
  • Frank/Jackie
  • Little Bean

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Five Things that make you worthwhile

Soul Pancake recently asked:

List five things that make you worthwhile. LINK

I'm going to list mine in a bit... let me think.

Some Uncle Walt on this rainy Saturday

Once I Pass'd through a Populous City

by Walt Whitman

Once I pass'd through a populous city imprinting my brain for future
use with its shows, architecture, customs, traditions,
Yet now of all that city I remember only a woman I casually met there
who detain'd me for love of me,
Day by day and night by night we were together—all else has long
been forgotten by me,
I remember I say only that woman who passionately clung to me,
Again we wander, we love, we separate again,
Again she holds me by the hand, I must not go,
I see her close beside me with silent lips sad and tremulous.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

If you're gonna do something, do it right.

Baptism by the Bay

Baptism by the Bay 2006 from National Community Church on Vimeo.

As some of you already know, I have chosen to study and follow Christ a few months ago.  It has been a profound transition in my life and it continues to strengthen me the further along the path I get.  Once a year my church, NCC, has a Baptism by the Bay event.  As you can see from the video the participants are mostly adults who have made a conscious, informed choice to follow Christ (as opposed to getting baptized as an infant, which many of us were).  I plan on doing this.  But not until next year, 2011.  I have decided to continue to attend NCC for one year before making this symbolic gesture.  This will be my year of discovery.  My year of seeking.  My year of truth.  I honestly want to do it this summer, but I feel in my heart that I'm not ready.  It wouldn't be right for me to do it right now. 

False Idols

One Hundred Two

Language! 

It's really fucking hot, man!  Watch the lips of people as they exit buildings in this heat... they're all saying, "Fuck."  That's when the weight of the heat falls on them like a sack of baked potatoes.  The oppression got to me, too.  I was walking to the metro and I started to stagger and zig zag like I was drunk.  This is how it feels when your eye balls boil in your skull!  And then we all play the cool guy game: "It ain't so bad.  I can get to the metro no problem.  I'm cool."  Then one block later you look like you just walked out of a lake like the Creature from the Black Lagoon.  Come to think of it, people did sort of have that Frankenstein walk going on.  Then there were the tourists whose Crocs had melted to their feet.  They were dressed appropriately, but lacked orientation.

Upside: Pretty women.  A couple more days of this and I'm pretty sure we're all going topless.  Of course, my eyes will be nothing but pools of hot goo so it won't matter much anyway.   

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Passage

I'm currently reading The Passage by Justin Cronin. I recommend it. I have also become an Amazon Associate, which means if you click the link and buy the book I will get a cut of the money. Neat!

Anyway, the book... it's got a futuristic, post-apocalyptic America and monstrous vampire-like creatures and stuff. It's a creepy read and great for the beach or metro trains.

The PassageThe Passage

"You're stewed, butt wad."

I have seen every one of these movies at least five times each.  Proud.

Monday, July 5, 2010

TP Chick

Blogger has a new feature which allows me (or any other Blogger user) to blog via a mobile device. The photo below is my first mobile blog post. Boom. Blogged from the supermarket, yo!

4th of July People, Alexandria, 2010





Thursday, July 1, 2010

When Idiots Backpedal

Roger Ebert made a statement not too long ago declaring that video games can never be art. LINK
Well, he has eaten his words - sort of. Due to a deluge of comments to his "declaration," Mr. Ebert has "revised" his statement. He admits that saying video games can never be art was a mistake. BUT he still claims that video games are not art, but that forever is a long time and maybe some day a video game can be art.

Guess what - still a douche.

First of all, What is art? Mr. Ebert seems to know. Asshole.

Second, does Mr. Ebert even know how video games are made? I can't think of a more creative, artful endeavor. Maybe Mr. Ebert is purporting that anything made on a computer cannot be art. And to that I say, Get your head out of your ass! That's like saying the Orioles aren't a real baseball team because they don't win any games. Well guess what - sometimes they do. Jerk.

I'm angry. Mostly because I like Roger Ebert. And also because I create art on a computer. Can I define art? No. Can I declare that what I make on my computer is art? Yes. Is a drawing by a four-year-old on a piece of construction paper with a crayon art? What about a photograph of some dude's cock?

Speaking of photographs, a long, long time ago people once used to say that film and photography was not art. Both of which require highly technical processing methods.

I play video games. Guess what - they're art.

Because I said so.

Things that are hot right now

1. Red-headed, female Russian spies.

That's all.