Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Monday, August 30, 2010

Sunday, August 29, 2010

God wants us to

1. Tell the truth, and
2. Love needy people.

Are you gonna be safe? Or are you gonna be brave? It's a choice we make every day.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Like Mom, Like Dad

Check out this awesome web site I found. People recreate old photographs of their parents. LINK

Friday, August 27, 2010


The Candy Politic

This is me: Talking about politics is like trying to decide which color jelly bean is best.

When people ("people") say they are not happy with the direction this country is headed what exactly does that mean?  Because I have an idea what that means, but my idea might offend.  Considering the "people" who are giving this response I'm sensing a fear of sentimentality. (Yes, that is a loaded word.)

And where were these "people" when Bush started an unauthorized, pointless war?  Where were these "people" when Katrina landed on New Orleans and WE, the United States of America, allowed its citizens to suffer and die while we watched on TV?

If the direction of our country is headed away from that, well, thank God.

Red.  The best color jelly bean.  (That's enough politics for one day.  Go ride a bike or kiss a girl or write a poem - you know, ACTUAL important things in life.)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

"Video Games are Undeniably Art"

Here's a great post concerning the Ebert Debate...

Video games are art.

It’s boring, it’s been said, and it’s been argued against. But it’s true. Game developers are this generation’s unnamed Ansel Adams and Andy Warhols. The video games they work to create are their own unique worlds imagined and they bring to life these visions with precise direction and immense effort. By any definition, the entire process is an art form; writers weave a story out of nothing, artists turn barren worlds into illustrated societies, and coders bring it all to life in an interactive formation.

The entire process is undeniably art–almost magically so.

I’m saying things we already know as gamers, but for some reason never admit–at least not out loud or in a tone above a whisper. As much as video games have evolved in the past decade, we haven’t really as gamers. We’ve continued to imply video games are just a release and a hobby; that they’re something cheap and homely, meant to give us a bit of entertainment like a gossip magazine or a soap opera.

(Read the rest at the blog Hellmode)

The Walking Dead

The debut on AMC is on Halloween!  How cool is that! It's based on one of the best comic books I ever read.

Ode to the Yard Sale

By Gary Soto

A toaster,
A plate
Of pennies,
A plastic rose
Staring up
To the sky.
It's Saturday
And two friends,
Merchants of
The salvageable heart,
Are throwing
Things onto
The front lawn –
A couch, a beanbag,
A table to clip
Poodles on,
Drawers of
Potato mashers,
Spoons, knives
That signaled
To the moon
For help.
Rent is due
It's somewhere
On the lawn,
Somewhere among
The shirts we've
Looked good in,
Taken off before
We snuggled up
To breasts
That almost made
Us gods.
It'll be a good
Day, because
There's much
To sell,
And the pitcher
Of water
Blue in the shade,
Clear in the
Light, with
The much-handled
Scotch the color
Of leaves
Falling at our
Shoes, will
Get us through
The afternoon
Rush of old
Ladies, young women
On their way
To becoming nurses,
Bachelors of
The twice-dipped
Tea bag. It's an eager day:
Wind in the trees,
Laughter of
Children behind
Fences. Surely
People will arrive
With handbags
And wallets,
To open up coffee
Pots and look
In, weigh pans
In each hand,
And prop hats
On their heads
And ask, "How do
I look?" (foolish
To most,
Beautiful to us).
And so they
Come, poking
At the clothes,
Lifting salt
And pepper shakers
For their tiny music,
Thumbing through
Old magazines
For someone
They know,
As we sit with
Our drinks
And grow sad
That the ashtray
Has been sold,
A lamp, a pillow,
The fry pans
That were action
Packed when
We cooked, those things
We threw so much
Love on, day
After day,
Sure they would mean something
When it came
To this.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Is an actual sentence, yo.   LINK

The Impossible Life

If there was a way to bottle emotions... and purchase them like Snapple which one would you try first?  (I knew it.  Everyone always picks Lustful Excitement first.)

Surprisingly, I bet Humiliation and Anger would sell quite nicely. 

You're an odd thing, human.  You search and search for just that right kind of pain - and then when you find it, well.  You know what you do.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

Friday, August 20, 2010

Gunmetal Cupcakes

I got Hoth!

Today is my lucky day!  I became one of very few people who had the opportunity to buy this:

Actual, valuable art! Mine!  And it sold out in ten minutes!

From SlashFilm:

Alamo Drafthouse’s Mondo Tees’ has announced a new release in the highly anticipated line of officially LucasFilm-licensed Star Wars-inspired art prints: “Hoth” by Dan McCarthy. The design is screenprinted on 12″x36″ , hand numbered limited edition of 475. Limit 1 per household. If you want one of these bad boys, you’re going to have to work for it. The Star Wars series has sold out fast in previous installments (25-30 minutes), and the latest print will probably be no different. Stay tuned to MondoTees.com and the official MondoTees twitter account for the on sale announcement.

Anticipation; Or, When I was a kid I always wanted to go to Space Camp

I feel

like a man waiting for NASA to call to tell me I'm an astronaut now. Finally.

Thursday, August 19, 2010


We hung this in our kitchen three years ago and haven't touched it since. Today it fell on me for absolutely no reason. I was making coffee and whistling that song from the cantina scene in Star Wars.

Lynette is kind of freaked out about this story.  Because the nail holding this up and the twine on the back of it was perfectly intact.  To remove this thing would require a lifting up motion.  And the windows were closed so that rules out wind gusts.  The item is something that was given to me long ago as an instrument to scare away evil spirits. 

Watch TV at work, I will.

What an age we live in!  I just watched episode one of the animated series The Clone Wars on my iPhone 4 on my lunch break.


Despite it's kid-friendly leanings, it's a really good show.  The animation is unique and stylish.  The writing is spot on.  And it's a great Star Wars fix.   

Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger

I would eat this.

But I would need a ride home from the hospital.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

DC via Chicago

It's not like I needed another reason to say goodbye to the Cubs, but today they traded Derek Lee to the Braves.  The funny thing is I'm not even that sad about it.  My hatred for the Braves only grows, but the Cubs have made my transition to Nationals fandom even easier.

I've been living here in DC for nearly ten years.  It's about time I start calling it home.  Go Nats.

And I've already been a Capitals fan for the last two seasons.  

Football is a different story.  I'm still trying to convince Lynette that we should name our first born child Sweetness.


Good luck.  Godspeed.  Go Bears.

Black Swan

Food Matters CSA

Community Supported Agriculture.  It's something Lynette has been researching for a few years and we found one very close to home.  Right down the street, in fact, at a neighborhood restaurant called Food Matters

For roughly $20 a week we get an assortment of organic, locally grown fruits and vegetables which changes with the seasons.  As an amateur chef (aka dude who likes to cook) this gives me an opportunity to seek out new recipes and cook with a variety of ingredients I otherwise would not think to use. 

This week's zucchini, sweet corn, and red bell peppers were amazing.  Quality and flavor like this cannot be found in a grocery store.  I'm not sure what to do with the Serrano peppers and sweet onion - a salsa perhaps.

Here's the blog for the Food Matters CSA.  From here you will also find links to other food conscious blogs and books. 

The Eating Habits of the North American Male

So often I overlook the simple things in life.  I got a bagel with butter this morning and it was scrumptious.  A simple combination: butter, bread.  I'm not sure why I thought to get it - maybe I overheard someone else ordering it.  Maybe I'm putting forth a little more effort to attain happiness on a daily, non-complicated level. 

Another thing that makes me happy: a notebook.  Preferably Moleskine brand, but mostly it doesn't matter.  A blank page preceded by many filled in, written on, drawn on pages is like morning coffee, or a day off. 

I had a thought recently - when I was a college student I wanted to be a poet.  Granted, for one to become a poet one merely needs to write a poem, but I really wanted to be a poet, as in one of those stuffy, scarf-wearing, professor types who gets to take sabbaticals to write poems and spend time at various campuses as a resident poet (a ridiculous premise, if I do say so myself, but I'll take it).  But then somewhere along my journey I realized that the poetry "biz" ain't about how "good" the poems are, but rather who wrote it. I'd like to jump straight to the point where I can generate shit poems and still be regaled as a genius (I'm looking at you John Ashberry).  Somewhere along the way I became disheartened. 

I need to get it back.  How do I get it back?

Star Wars.  I watched Star Wars a few days ago and remembered that I am not much different than the person I used to be.  Life has a pesky way of making us forget who we are.  I'm not a regretful person, but I need more reminders in my life of who I am and who I want to be. 

"Do, or do not.  There is no try."  Yoda

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Music Appreciation: Scala and Kolacny Brothers

I ran across this on Pop Candy this morning.  It's a 60-piece girls choir from Belgium that is known for covering contemporary and indie songs.  What you will hear is absolutely beautiful and haunting.  If this doesn't fill your heart with the immense weight of what has to be the closest thing to hearing angels then I'm afraid you have no soul.  

Scala and Kolacny Brothers

Nice Guy Johnny

Monday, August 16, 2010

Found her.

Rooney Mara has been cast as Lisbeth Salander.

Who? (And that's why I approve of this decision.)

Jackass 3D

Yes, I know Jackass is stupid and childish and just plain dumb.  (Now that we have that out of the way...)

Anyone who missed the first Jackass movie truly did themselves a disservice.  The laughs were aplenty.  I never saw the second one (I reckon it was a lot like the first one).  But this third installment has me intrigued.  Maybe it's because of its tongue in cheek premise that it's in 3D.  Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it actually is in 3D, but like most crap being served to us by Hollywood it doesn't need to be in 3D.  And it knows it.  Johnny Knoxville is a smart dude, regardless of his antics.  Making Jackass in 3D is a big middle finger to Hollywood and anyone who forks out money to see movies in 3D (present company included).

Also, I can't stop watching the last 5 seconds of this trailer without giggling.



That's no moon!

Had a Star Wars weekend. Star Wars Celebration V took place in Orlando, Florida to commemorate the 30th anniversary of The Empire Strikes Back.  Awesomely, XM devoted an entire channel to the four-day celebration and it was AWESOME.

The festival of all things Star Wars culminated with "The Main Event" which was an interview of George Lucas conducted by Jon Stewart.  The interview was not broadcast, but one sneaky nerd recorded the whole thing and posted it on YouTube (in eight parts).  It was so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, cool.

I should've been there...

Anyway, Mr. Lucas revealed some big news:  All six movies will be released on Blu-Ray next year. Albeit, the "special editions" and not the original versions.  Also, the Blu-Ray versions will have never-before-seen deleted scenes from episodes 4, 5, and 6.

I should've been there!

Check out this life-sized TIE Fighter that was present at the convention: LINK

Seriously, why wasn't I there?

Inspired, I ran out and opened up my laptop and ordered the original Star Wars trilogy on DVD.  Yes, I was ridiculed for not already owning them.  I also purchased the video game The Force Unleashed.  I'm entering a Star Wars phase (again) so if you hear Wookie noises coming down our hallway, best you turn around and head in the other direction.

The Top 100 Star Wars characters according to IGN: LINK

Friday, August 13, 2010


Leia turns seven years old today!

Thank God for Leia. Thank God her path crossed with ours.


Can I borrow your skinny jeans?  I'm heading over to the Apple Store today to see if anything can be done to save my iPhone 4.  In the interim, I've been forced to check my email on a computer like a chump from 2006.  Yesterday, I had to take actual printed material into the bathroom.  Come on!

In other news...

Forget it, nothing is more important than my iPhone 4.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Goats

Because I'm in a rotten, sour mood today

Here is a list of sports teams I will never cheer for

And actually enjoy seeing lose:

  1. Packers
  2. Penguins
  3. Red Sox
  4. Cardinals
  5. Cowboys
  6. Colts
  7. Knicks
  8. Marlins
  9. Braves
  10. Lakers

Moisture kills

As I walked up the escalator at the McPherson Square metro station this morning I was greeted by at least 100 people crowding under the canopy because the rain, the rain! She poured! 

And poured.  And poured.

Eventually, I said to myself, "Time to get wet," and I walked the three blocks to work.  That was four hours ago and I'm still soaked.  There isn't an article of clothing on my body that isn't wet.  (Even my belt is soggy and stiff from wetness.) When I arrived to work I looked like I was thrown in the Reflecting Pool by some urban bully. 

Being wet isn't the part that upsets me... my new iPhone 4 is dead. 

Maybe in a few hours it will dry out and rise from its watery grave, but I'm not hopeful.  Especially after hearing strange crackling noises coming from within.  A battle was certainly raging inside that thing and it's obvious who lost. 

Why I don't go in the ocean

Because there's monsters in there!

Me my Shark and I from Chuck Patterson on Vimeo.

New Religion

By Bill Holm

This morning no sound but the loud
breathing of the sea. Suppose that under
all that salt water lived the god
that humans have spent ten thousand years
trawling the heavens for.
We caught the wrong metaphor.
Real space is wet and underneath,
the church of shark and whale and cod.
The noise of those vast lungs
exhaling: the plain chanting of monkfish choirs.
Heaven's not up but down, and hell
is to evaporate in air. Salvation,
to drown and breathe
forever with the sea.

"Faith affects couples' happiness"

Thanks Washington Post for telling us what we already know.  So... in other words the family that prays together stays together? LINK

 I'm being sarcastic - it's a well written article based on a "study."  And I agree with it, but I'm not sure it warranted a newspaper article.  Here's an idea for an interesting article: Couples who do not share faith and yet are successful and happy.  Or couples with zero faith who are successful and happy.

Next week in the Washington Post: "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

D for Ding Dong

Is the D printed on a Ding Dong package really necessary? I'd understand if it were in braille. Or maybe the D represents a different D word. Delicious? Dreamy? Death?

The one about Ross

When I told my friend Ross that he'd be a daft prick for not buying a Kindle he ran out and bought a Kindle.  When I told him that the iPhone 4 will get him laid he camped out for a month to buy an iPhone 4. 

Finally, Ross obtained the cherished iPhone 4 last night.  (Apparently, he slept with it last night like Ralphie and his Red Ryder BB gun.)

I bought the iPhone 4 a couple days after it went on sale, but I have not been able to use its most flaunted feature: FACE TIME!

Until now...


So Ross and I did Face Time last night and I had one of those moments where you realize you've made a significant step forward in the storyline of humankind and technological advancement.  If you don't know what Face Time is turn on a television and watch one of the various Apple commercials showing Face Time in action.  Anyway, as I was having a hand-held video conference with Ross I realized that in the near future every phone will have this feature.  I predict 5 years.  EVERY phone from EVERY manufacturer will have a Face Time feature and people will be using it like crazy.  That's how great it is. 

Computers have had web cams and video conferencing for more than a decade, but there were always obstacles the masses never fully overcame.  Mainly that a computer first had to have a web cam. Next, that the people had to learn how to use them.  Finally, that all parties had to be sitting in front of their computers to have a video conference.

Apple has eliminated the obstacles so that someone like my mom can now have a video conference while standing in her favorite store (Walmart).  Trust me, if I say my mom can do it, then your 21-month-old baby can do it.  (No offense, Mom.) 

Using Face Time is so easy.  So, so, so easy.  The future is here.  Hear me now or find out about it later, but either way you will be having a video conference with your wife while standing in the tampon aisle because the ones she wants won't be there and you'll be helpless and on the verge of tears. 

Monday, August 9, 2010

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Vitamin Water

This is the year I found God.  This is the year I began forgiving everyone for everything.  This is the year I stopped casting judgments.  With that said, I always knew Vitamin Water was just as good for me as an ice cold Coca-Cola.  In other words, it's pop (a quick glance at the nutritional information printed ON THE BOTTLE told me how many calories was in a serving).  Apparently, The World (aka John Q. Public) just found out this week that Vitamin Water is "not healthy."

I have to be honest, this makes me want to drink Vitamin Water.  Why?  Because before it was pretentious to walk around holding a bottle of something called "Vitamin Water."  Now it's fucking bad ass.  Because now we KNOW it's bad for me.  People will see me walking down the street holding a bottle of Vitamin Water and say, "Whoa, is that guy crazy?  Doesn't he know that the TV said last week that Vitamin Water is bad for us?"

If you see me drinking Vitamin Water I will not be ashamed.  Would you judge me for drinking it?  Would you make assumptions based on my beverage choice?  Would you think less of me?

I forgive you if you thought Vitamin Water was a healthy beverage.  I forgive you if you if you say soda instead of pop.  I forgive you if you don't understand why The Beatles were the best rock and roll band ever to make music.  I forgive you if you've never read Kerouac, or Ginsberg, or Burroughs.  And I forgive you if you've never been a thousand miles from home with only a pen and a notebook to keep you from going insane.  I also forgive the overweight woman who squishes me up against the glass on the metro train.

None of our journeys are the same.  It's 2010 and I found God.  (Or God found me...)  And I realized that I spent way too much time making assumptions about people based on very little information.  We're all different flavors of Vitamin Water.  And none of us can claim to be pure or perfect or good for anyone.  If I had a nutritional facts label stuck on my belly you'd find that parts of me might be bad for you.  Drinking me might cost you.  But guess what - I taste great and I'll never lie to you.

To be honest, I'd be disappointed if there weren't parts of you that was bad for me.  Life ain't sterile.  Safe is boring. People have quirks and curiosities and strange baggage that makes them flawed and human and lovely.  God is showing me the Lovely.  In everyone and everything.  Let's spend more time searching for the Lovely and less time trying to be lovely.

Safe is boring and EVERYONE is lovely.  I forgive you if you think otherwise.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Equality is neat!

The Man in Black has a name.

Fellow Lost fans, you know Jacob, but you also know his darkly-clad (evil?) brother was never given a name. Until now...


Now you know. Boom.

Also, the show is still over.


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Music Appreciation: Mates of State

The Mates of State cover The Replacements. In Chicago. With Todd Barry on drums. Now THIS is what is important in life.

Mates Of State cover The Replacements


It's a funny thing the way people hang on to notions conceived by other people. The lack of actual, hands on experience is scary when it comes to opinions and preferences. I'm speculating, but perhaps society forces us to come up with a stance regardless of our credentials. We feel so much pressure to wear signs around our necks. I propose we leave our signs at the door. Are you able to do that?

Note to self