Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I Vote For Bacon



(Tipping my hat to you, Elwood.)

Maybe Not

So the new dog doesn't appear to be permanent. He's a good dog. He just isn't fitting in very well. It's not a good match, as Lynette said. Also, he's HUGE. And I think our small condo is not appropriate for his energy level. Also, Leia has gotten stepped on, pushed aside, walked over, and nearly peed on. And that sort of behavior will not stand. I think we're better as a one dog family. Fortunately, we're only fostering him. We can give him back to the adoption agency without complication. I honestly think he deserves a more appreciative family for the type of happy, energetic dog that he is.

So anyway- Lynette's radiator cracked last night. Car went to the shop. That's the kind of week we're having.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Happy Friday, Everybody!

In light of our country's impending financial doom, I'd like to be the first to say I'm glad it's Friday.

Sure, it's raining and Fall's chill has arrived and Mercury is in retrograde and banks are imploding and the Republican presidential candidate might not show up for tonight's debate and the Bears' quarterback sucks and our Xerox machine needs toner, but this is going to be a glorious weekend.

Why? Because we're getting another dog.

Yup. Leia will soon have a companion. We have decided to adopt another greyhound. In fact, Lynette even stated once that we will never get a different breed of dog. It's hard to explain how these dogs aren't like typical dogs. They're so calm and graceful - they radiate soothing, comfortable feelings throughout the house. It's hard not to be overcome with positive energy when in the presence of these creatures.

Anyway, we pick him up tomorrow afternoon. To be safe, we're only fostering him with intent to adopt, in case he doesn't quite mesh with our lives. But I'm optimistic. In these days, you have to be.

So, like I said, it's Friday, and I see nothing but beauty and good times ahead.
JC

Thursday, September 25, 2008

McCain's Biggest Mistake: Pissing Off Dave

He blew off Letterman. For Katie Couric. Not cool, John. Not cool.

I don't care who you are - you never, ever, ever anger Mr. Letterman. Senator McCain might get away with canceling the debate, but this cancellation may be the final nail...


This just in: The McCain campaign continues to act like that drunk chick at your party who just broke your mom's lamp... McCain suggests moving Friday's debate to next Thursday thereby postponing the vice presidential debate. Is anyone falling for these ploys? Seriously. You're going to have to let her out of her crate sooner or later.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Becky Likes You

Have you heard my podcast yet? No? Well, that's because I haven't told many people about it. It's called Becky Likes You and I think it's real neat. You might, too.

Be warned, it's got swears and stuff. I wouldn't play it with children in the room. Or parents. Also, don't tell too many people about it because I'm not paying any royalties to the music industry for using their songs. With that said, please don't steal the songs from the podcast. Come on, guys, seriously, don't.

Time Out!

John McCain is like the kid who calls time out right before he gets smashed in the face with a dodge ball. Nice try, Senator, but you will be expected to show up at that debate on Friday.

Why didn't anyone tell me?!

I read in The Washington Post this morning that Lindsay Lohan has confirmed that she is dating a woman. Dating. A woman. Nerds everywhere (considering they read the Style section of The Washington Post) all had simultaneous dirty thoughts on this Wednesday morning of September 24, 2008.

See! You're having one right now! There! I'm not the only one!

(*Yes, I know, this post is coming across as incredibly crude and shallow, but I cannot deny that thing that makes me a man: 1. The strong attraction toward Lindsay Lohan; and 2. The sight of attractive women gettin' it on with each other. **If you're a man and you deny these desires than you, sir, are a filthy liar.)

UPDATE: Clay Aiken also came out today. For those of you who think of Clay in similar fashion. (I'm all about fairness in reporting. Thanks, Elwood.)

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Heroes 3

So I watched the season premiere of Heroes last night. It was good. The first season was awesome. I mean really awesome. But then season 2 lost me about halfway through because it started to drag on. So I actually never saw a bunch of episodes from last year.

But I guess it didn't matter because, as NBC says it, "Everything is new." Without actually saying it, I got the gist after watching the cheesy, lame, one-hour "red carpet" (which was fake) special last night that NBC pretty much realizes that last year sucked. One of the cast members actually said, "Didn't watch last season? No problem!"

With that said, I watched last night NOT knowing what happened at the end of last season and NBC was right - Skipping season two didn't matter.

Anyway, last night's episode was good, like I said. It didn't blow me away like nearly every episode in season 1, but I got into it. I can tell it risks losing me again if they continue to perpetuate the same future end-of-the-world storyline.

But here's what will keep me watching: Villains. I like where they're taking this idea. Coincidentally, "Volume 3" is titled "Villains." Lucky me.

Friday, September 19, 2008

I'm a PC

All you smarmy, hipster, Apple fanboy lam-o's can suck a big one:

Things I'm Looking Forward To

1. Meeting our new dog next weekend.
2. Baseball's post season (featuring a team I like, but won't talk about until it actually happens)
3. Seeing the new Ricky Gervais movie
4. The election of a Democratic president (finally)
5. A few video games: Fable 2, Gears of War 2, and Little Big Planet
6. The end of worrying about Lynette's job
7. The birth of Catherine's baby girl (this list is in no particular order)
8.
9.
10.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Tina Fey as Palin on SNL = HILARIOUS



Nevermind. I guess NBC wants you cheap bastards to pay for it. But I reckon you'll just forget about it and move on with your day. Smart business model there, NBC! Way to go!

Friday, September 12, 2008

What did you say about my wang?

(from Sify News via Boing Boing)

Indian-White argument over genitals leaves three killed

Friday, 12 September , 2008, 08:28

Durban: Three men were shot dead and two left injured after an argument between a group of Indian and white visitors to a bar here, allegedly over the size of genitals.

Superintendent Muzi Mngomezulu of the South African police confirmed that five people were arrested in the early hours of Thursday morning in connection with the shootings, which erupted after a confrontation between white and Indian patrons of the bar late on Wednesday evening.

Two of them were in possession of firearms believed to have been used in the killings.

A worker at the bar, who requested anonymity for fear of reprisal, said a customer of Indian origin had remarked to a white customer while they were both at the urinal in the bar that his penis was bigger than that of the white customer.

"After both men returned to their friends, the two groups began swearing at each other before the group of five Indian men left the scene and all returned with firearms. They opened fire and three guys died on the spot. The other two were rushed to St. Augustine's Hospital, where I am told they are critical."

Mngomezulu said the argument is believed to have been racially motivated, although he could not confirm the incident at the urinal.

Durban is home to two-thirds of South Africa's 1.2 million Indians, with the unique Indian accent there often being the butt of jokes by comedians and arguments sometimes erupting over it in social environments if it is maligned by other groups.

Republicans are Liars.

MORE Seinfeld and Gates!

I love these commercials! There's something about Bill Gates' inability to act and Jerry Seinfeld's mastery of subtlety that has me hooked on these "commercials." This one is long and will probably be broken up into a few TV spots.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Pop Versus Soda

To all the bastards who made/make fun of me for saying pop. In your face, Space Coyote!

Seinfeld + Gates = WTF

Can't... stop... watching... this commercial. What does it all mean, Basil? I've seen this many times already and for some odd reason I find it pleasing and subtly humorous. But I don't know why. Granted, I'm already a fan of Jerry Seinfeld, but the absurdity of this commercial is weirdly beautiful. Interpretations are welcome.

Stand Up to Cancer

A film by Errol Morris.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

McCain's Voicemail to Palin Leaked to Press

Get ready to laugh. Get ready to laugh.
LINK

Back to Work

Hi Readers. There's a pun in the title of this post and it is intended. I was out sick yesterday with a sore back. Actually, it was extremely sore. White hot piercing knives kind of sore. I woke up with it and decided I was not going to sit in an office all day dealing with it.

Apparently, having a catch with Lynette tweaked something in my upper back. Maybe it's just sore muscles. I feel better. I didn't exercise at all last week, so maybe it was my body smacking me upside the head.

So I purchased the game Spore on Sunday. Even though it looks highly suspicious, I did not play hooky to stay home and play Spore all day. But that is what it looks like.

Anyway, Spore is awesome. You'll love it.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Thursday, September 4, 2008

So good.

So good.

Posted using ShareThis

Natalie Portman's Shaved Head

Their video, Sideways Ponytail... oh, and it may cause seizures, so...


natalie portman's shaved head - sophisticated side ponytail from thatgo on Vimeo.

Why do people lie?

Desperation makes us do silly things. Take the Republicans, for example: After watching last night's "speeches," it has become blatantly obvious that they have chosen to lie. Pure and simple. If it were a street fight, Palin would've kicked Obama in the balls, knowing that was the only weapon available to her.

Or if the lies don't work, blame the media. The liberal media. Laughable.

(From the AP) ST. PAUL, Minn. — Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her Republican supporters held back little Wednesday as they issued dismissive attacks on Barack Obama and flattering praise on her credentials to be vice president. In some cases, the reproach and the praise stretched the truth.

Some examples:

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."

PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform _ not even in the state senate."

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.


Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply ... She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state _ by population.

MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. ... She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right _ change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington _ throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.

___

Associated Press Writer Jim Drinkard in Washington contributed to this report.


(From Politico)

Why the media should apologize




ST. PAUL, Minn. — On behalf of the media, I would like to say we are sorry.

On behalf of the elite media, I would like to say we are very sorry.

We have asked questions this week that we should never have asked.

We have asked pathetic questions like: Who is Sarah Palin? What is her record? Where does she stand on the issues? And is she is qualified to be a heartbeat away from the presidency?

We have asked mean questions like: How well did John McCain know her before he selected her? How well did his campaign vet her? And was she his first choice?

Bad questions. Bad media. Bad.

It is not our job to ask questions. Or it shouldn’t be. To hear from the pols at the Republican National Convention this week, our job is to endorse and support the decisions of the pols.

Sarah Palin hit the nail on the head Wednesday night (and several in the audience wish she had hit some reporters on the head instead) when she said: “I’m not a member of the permanent political establishment. And I’ve learned quickly, these past few days, that if you’re not a member in good standing of the Washington elite, then some in the media consider a candidate unqualified for that reason alone.”

But where did we go wrong with Sarah Palin? Let me count the ways:

First, we should have stuck to the warm, human interest stuff like how she likes mooseburgers and hit an important free throw at her high school basketball tournament even though she had a stress fracture.

Second, we should have stuck to the press release stuff like how she opposed the Bridge to Nowhere (after she supported it).

Third, we should never have strayed into the other stuff. Like when The Washington Post recently wrote: “Palin is under investigation by a bipartisan state legislative body. … Palin had promised to cooperate with the legislative inquiry, but this week she hired a lawyer to fight to move the case to the jurisdiction of the state personnel board, which Palin appoints.”

Why go there? What trees does that plant?

Fourth, we should stop making with all the questions already. She gave a really good speech. And why go beyond that? As we all know, speeches cannot be written by others and rehearsed for days. They are true windows to the soul.

Unless they are delivered by Barack Obama, that is. In which case, as Palin said Wednesday, speeches are just a “cloud of rhetoric.”

Fifth, we should stop reporting on the families of the candidates. Unless the candidates want us to.

Sarah Palin wanted the media to report on her teenage son, Track, who enlisted in the Army on Sept. 11, 2007, and soon will deploy to Iraq.

Sarah Palin did not want the media to report on her teenage daughter, Bristol, who is pregnant and unmarried.

Sarah Palin thinks that one is good for her campaign and one is not, and that the media should report only on what is good for her campaign. That is our job, and that is our duty. If that is not actually in the Constitution, it should be. (And someday may be.)

The official theme of the convention’s third day was “prosperity,” but the unofficial theme was “the media are really, really awful.”

Even Mike Huckabee, who campaigned for president this year by saying “I am a conservative, but I am not mad at anybody,” discovered Wednesday night that he is mad at somebody.

“I’d like to thank the elite media for doing something,” Huckabee said, “that, quite frankly, I didn’t think could be done: unify the Republican party and all of America in support of John McCain and Sarah Palin.”

And could that be the real point of the attacks on the media? To unify the Republican Party?

No, that is simply the cynical, media view.

Though as Lily Tomlin says, “No matter how cynical I get, it’s just never enough to keep up.”

I couldn’t resist that. For which I am sorry.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Who's up for some irony?

By Paul Kane (Washington Post)
ST. PAUL -- Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the Republican vice-presidential nominee who revealed Monday that her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant, earlier this year used her line-item veto to slash funding for a state program benefiting teen mothers in need of a place to live.

After the legislature passed a spending bill in April, Palin went through the measure reducing and eliminating funds for programs she opposed. Inking her initials on the legislation -- "SP" -- Palin reduced funding for Covenant House Alaska by more than 20 percent, cutting funds from $5 million to $3.9 million. Covenant House is a mix of programs and shelters for troubled youths, including Passage House, which is a transitional home for teenage mothers.

According to Passage House's web site, its purpose is to provide "young mothers a place to live with their babies for up to eighteen months while they gain the necessary skills and resources to change their lives" and help teen moms "become productive, successful, independent adults who create and provide a stable environment for themselves and their families."

Palin's own daughter, Bristol, is five months pregnant and has plans to wed.

"Bristol and the young man she will marry are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of our entire family," Palin said in a statement released by the McCain campaign. "We ask the media to respect our daughter and Levi's privacy, as has always been the tradition of children of candidates."

Earlier today the Associated Press reported that Sen. John McCain (Ariz.), the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, opposed funding to prevent teen pregnancies, a position that Palin also took as governor. "The explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support," she wrote in a 2006 questionnaire distributed among gubernatorial candidates.

Reporters asked McCain in November 2007 whether he supported grants for sex education in the United States, whether such programs should include directions for using contraceptives and whether he supports President Bush's policy of promoting abstinence.

"Ahhh, I think I support the president's policy," McCain said.