Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Chair Thief







Seriously, I got to work this morning at 6:35 AM and my friggin' chair was not in my office. Here's the part that baffles: You have to literally lift my huge chair up over my desk to get it out of my office. There are so many other offices with identical chairs all over the place where you simply have to roll - no lifting! I was the last one out last night and the first one in this morning! Where the hell is my chair!

You better believe I kicked open every door to every office on this floor looking for my chair. If I find my chair encased in Jell-O I'm going to start punching holes in walls!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Mmm, that's good viewing.

These are the best shows on TV right now. Everything else sucks.

1. Lost
2. Flight of the Conchords
3. United States of Tara
4. Eastbound and Down
5. The Biggest Loser: Couples
6. Family Guy

But seriously, folks, I know a lot of you don't have Showtime (or HBO), but Diablo Cody's new show United States of Tara is AMAZING. Watch it, if not now then on DVD in the future. Or get it online.

Danny McBride's Eastbound and Down is yet another genius move by HBO to stay on the cutting edge. For most people, his humor will hit long after he has become way huger. See him in Pineapple Express for a taste. Especially, the last scene in the restaurant. Classic.

Lost is... well, it's Lost. We watch because we must know what the f happens. But, in defense of the show, this season IS very good. It really is. The writers took a hint from the first season of Heroes and started throwing us a few bones. (A practice Heroes has decided to abandon.)

I also enjoy Monster Quest and anything about Bigfoot or UFOs. But that goes without saying.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Songs Named After Girls

My Early Morning Road Confrontation

6:15 AM.

I pulled out of my garage and onto the boulevard. A car pulled out in front of me. (This is quite normal, yet annoying in the world of driving, as you all know.) The car drove under the speed limit causing me to apply my brakes. (Even more annoying.) I passed him. Then he proceeded to flash his lights at me after I passed him. At the next stop sign, I lingered just to be annoying back. (A bad idea.) He got out of his car. Not wanting to get accosted or worse so early in the morning I kept driving. At the next light, he pulled up along side of me and rolled down his window.

"The speed limit is 25," he says with a self-righteous tone.

Thinking heavily about my next move, I stare at the guy and realize he is pumped and eager for an argument. I said, "Thanks for pulling out in front of me."

"Be a good neighbor," he said in response.

Realizing that nothing I say will help me AND that technically he was correct to be concerned about my speed since I had to accelerate to pass him, I decided to take the high road. I gave him a sly smirk and said, "Ok. You got it, buddy."

In the scheme of things, the score is Self-righteous Guy in Jetta 1, JC 0. It wasn't until about an hour later that I came up with several great come-backs and responses to his bold statements to me. So then it started to make me question how quick-witted I am. Or lack thereof.

Why couldn't I come up with these great responses on the spot?

Though, thinking back, I'm sure my witty retorts would have only sent him into a more, defensive posture and the situation may have escalated. And those of you who know me know how immensely repulsed I am at the thought of confrontation. And in all fairness to the guy I automatically (and probably unfairly) assume is an asshole, I was driving faster than 25mph. Not wanting to lower myself to the level of Self-righteous Guys in Jettas, I consider that maybe he has had a family member die due to a speeding driver, or something similar.

In the end, I'm just going to have to deal with the fact that I was speeding (briefly) and some dude called me out on it. I guess I should be lucky he wasn't a cop. Or maybe he was. Who knows.

In the end, like the immature kid I tend to be, I punched it when the light turned green and caused my tires to squeal. Take that, World!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Giant Pizza Cheeseburger

For some reason, I have a slight pain in my chest. It's only a slight pain though. Who wants burgers?

Or pizza?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Why Firefighters Kick Ass

Terrible what's happening in Australia. It's rare, but every once in a while someone does something that sustains my faith in humanity for at least one more day.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Lost in a Sushi Moment

From Neatorama:
"The effect of sending the camera around a Tokyo sushi restaurant via the conveyor, coupled with the music on this video, is quite a beautiful thing.

Dennis Wheatley and Stefan McClean were sitting in a Tokyo sushi bar when they had an idea to make this impromptu film:

"We were sitting in this sushi bar pondering how best to set up a camera to film things all by itself whilst we were in Tokyo.
Take our hands out of the equation… let the camera have its own journey.

What we loved about watching this film back was the space that the
camera was able to enter.. extremely personal and scrutinising but not
too lingering."

The music is titled "Lost in a Moment" by Shrift."

Dr. Steve Brule

Smells like horse. Inside joke: Hey, Ross, want some pizza?

Friday, February 6, 2009

Top Fruits

1. Apple
2. Banana
3. Grape

Runners Up:

4. Orange
5. Pineapple
6. Watermelon

Thursday, February 5, 2009

How's Your News? SUNDAY NIGHT!

There is a new show on MTV called How's Your News? It's a show where people travel around the country interviewing interesting people and spotlighting interesting places. Just another news magazine type of show? Hardly. The difference here is that all the reporters and most of the crew have developmental, mental, and/or physical disabilities.

I read about this show this morning in the Washington Post. LINK. Rather than rewrite what the Post said, I urge you to read the review.

Also, Boing Boing has a nice piece about the show with a fairly long video preview of the show HERE.

But be warned, this ain't a show where we get to laugh at the retards. On the contrary, either the joke is on us (non-disabled, a loaded word that I hate using), or we are taught that sometimes it's OK to laugh at somebody when the result doesn't belittle or insult the person we're laughing at.

Those of you who know me know I've been working with people with developmental disabilities for a long time. The subject of equal rights and dignity are very close to my heart.

As it's noted on Boing Boing, the fact that this show is being aired on MTV and not PBS or Discovery Health is monumental.

And one of the best interviews in the world (because these are the questions we really want answered!)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


Christopher Niemann, over at the New York Times,created a fun and cleverly simple glimpse into the world of New York ... with Lego. Check out more of the Big Apple in brick form here.

From YesButNoButYes.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Word Play!

Lately, I've been pronouncing the word work with a long O, like Mork, but with a w. Work. Go 'head, try it. After some time, your loved ones will become more and more in love with the way you say it.

Next week: MILK pronounced like melk.