Friday, October 30, 2009

Dark Morning

I don't mean gloomy morning or disturbing morning, I mean literally it's a dark morning. Where the hell is the Sun?

The lack of guilt I will feel for playing video games all day will be sensational!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

There's a Hole in the Bucket

So I have ulcers. Who cares. It doesn't change anything.

Or does it?

I'm not giving up coffee. But I might give up beer. And don't get me angry - you won't like me when I'm angry.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Spines and Buttons

Barnes and Nobles (I pluralize all singular sounding businesses) have introduced their own version of an e-reader. It's called Nook (cute). Until now, the leader in the e-book arena was Amazon's Kindle. And up until now I had no (zero) interest in reading a book electronically.

But then I saw a picture (and video) of BN's Nook. And now my curiosity is piqued. For starters, it's a new, nifty piece of electronic joy. I love me some toys. Second, books can be purchased directly from the Nook wirelessly on a 3G network. Thirdly, books are only $9.99. Fourthly, this will save on shelf space in my house. Fifthly, I can potentially carry around my entire library in my bag.

Bad things:

First, what if I lose my entire library because someone steals my shiny piece of electronic joy? Are my "books" backed up somewhere? (Considering I don't have to use a computer to obtain said "books" I have to assume they are not.)

Second, Reading from a screen... I've never done it. At least not while sitting on the train or in my living room or in bed. Will I be as immersed in a "book" I'm reading from a screen? The act of reading words from a printed page seems more organic and ethereal. There's more interaction between reader and book when I'm physically turning a textured page.

Third, What of the book selection? Sure, Dan Brown's latest future Tom Hanks movie will be available. But what about some of the more obscure authors?

Fourth, What if there is suddenly a huge electronic book explosion similar to the likes of iPod usage in the early aughts and my dear friend Elizabeth loses her job slinging books? It's not an unreasonable prediction. Just look at any store's compact disc selection nowadays. Most music purchasers are buying their music online. And if I think about the people who sell books, what about the people who make them? How many people will be put out of work because some trendy hipster runs out and buys a Nook? (Maybe those people can go get jobs making Nooks. In China.)

BTW, have you heard? Walmarts is selling books for $9 now! Price war!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Karen O

Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs did the entire soundtrack for Where the Wild Things Are. I think she's the tops. And this photo is supreme.

Monday Versus Unpredictable Nutcrackers

I was never one to be a bus/train sleeper, but this morning I closed my eyes for a minute on the shuttle and it was good.

I wish I could buy a decent hot dog around here.

Thank the gods for my thermos. When not in use I place it upon a makeshift alter and worship it. My silver idol.

I like that word makeshift. Makeshift.

I started reading Margaret Atwood's The Year of the Flood. It is good. The language is near-poetic. Every sentence seems well thought out and purposefully constructed. I appreciate that in prose. This life needs more poetry.

Friday, October 16, 2009


I always wanted to know how to use sign language. I'm not sure why. Some part of me thinks that chicks find it sexy. Or is it because I find deaf chicks sexy?

I actually know a few signs due to my line of work:
  • pop (soda)
  • coffee
  • stop
  • toilet
  • yes
  • no
  • Lunch
  • John Belushi
(The last one is a long story.)

If I have any deaf readers, I apologize if this sounds offensive or discriminatory or belittling. I'm just saying I like sign language.

And French. French people sound rad.

Thursday, October 15, 2009


I have a fear that only rears its ugly head in the rain:

I'm afraid someone's umbrella is going to catch me in the corner of my eye! As I walk down the sidewalk on a rainy day I bob and weave up and down and around everyone's umbrellas like it's a game.

The people with the giant umbrellas scare me the most because I question their ability to control those big rigs. Especially in the wind.

Safety goggles. I'm going to have to start wearing safety goggles in the rain. Great.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Video Games Get You Laid

1. For my gamer friends, I just finished Batman: Arkham Asylum and I say it was one of the best games I have ever played. I rank it up there with Half-Life, Metal Gear Solid, and Animal Crossing. If you're looking for one, it's a good reason to buy an Xbox 360 (or PS3).

2. I am now playing Dead Space which is beautifully scary and thrilling. The ambiance is outstanding and chilling. It's another reason to be playing video games. The cinematic experience alone is worth it. Its use of your fancy 5.1 surround sound system is awesome. It's a little on the creepy side, but well worth it - like spicy jerk chicken.

3. Also, I received my early copy of Guitar Hero: Van Halen. It is the best GH yet! Of course, I'm biased because I freakin' love Van Halen. (OLD Van Halen, none of that Sammy Hagar bullshit.)

4. Coming in November: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. This will be the game everyone will be playing. Don't get left out! Buy a 360!

Thursday, October 8, 2009


I'm listening to New Order's album Technique. Suddenly, I'm back in my basement bedroom in Huntley, Illinois with big, thick hair on my head and a leaking 1979 Buick LeSabre in the driveway.

I'm driving... I have a cheap cassette player in my dash (I installed it myself and in the process blew out all my dashboard lights so that at night I have no idea how fast I'm driving... Huntley cops love me).

All my New Order tapes are worn thin.

This car is so big there could be someone else in here and I wouldn't know it. Often, my friend Tim would stow-away whenever I drove to Carpentersville to hang out with my girlfriend.

Me and three floppy-haired friends saw New Order in concert one summer night in 1989. Little did we know that night would become a turning point in all our lives.

It boggles the mind to imagine the amount of damage we could inflict if we could go back knowing what we know now.


Today seems different...

What is it?

There was this tiny Asian woman on the train this morning singing with great volume a song that I did not understand. No one stopped her. Later she passed me on the sidewalk as I walked to work on 15th Street. She was still singing.

If I see her again during my commute home this afternoon I will start believing in miracles.

I lied. I kinda already do believe in miracles. Or at least things miraculous.

Miraculous. Things miraculous. Make a list.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Secret piece of chocolate left on my desk last night. Does someone on the cleaning crew have a crush on me? Do I have a coworker who thinks I'm a big, fat, pig in desperate need of candy?

Life's little mysteries are best blown up, not solved. Moving on...

Monday, October 5, 2009

Friday, October 2, 2009

Neat Nouns (and one adjective)

1. Sweaters
2. Coffee
3. Hockey
4. TV
5. Nick Twisp
6. Friday
7. Click-wheel
8. Lisbeth Salander
9. Coco Krispies
10. Spiral Notebook
11. Aziz Ansari

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Things that suck

1. The onset of a spontaneous headache.
2. No milk.
3. Sales tax causing my $2.99 egg sandwich to be $3.29 when I only have three singles.
4. The cursive Q (it looks like a friggin 2).
5. Anything manila.
6. Dave Matthews Band
7. Pickles.
8. Community (Chevy Chase is an asshole).
9. Redskins (the derogatory name, not the team).


I work in a cubicle now. If I stretch my neck a bit I can see the tops of the heads of all my coworkers. Earlier today, I heard one guy eating something and I said, "Whatcha eating?" So there's the food thing.