Wednesday, November 27, 2013

The Bird is the Word; Or, Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody!

They're coming.

This year we're hosting all our parents for Thanksgiving. Yes, they have to stay in a hotel, which by the way is pretty swanky, but our tiny, lovely condo will be filled with the delicious smells of a roasting turkey and fresh baked pumpkin pie. This holiday season all are welcome and none will be turned away. May God have mercy on our souls.

Here is a small list of sounds and discussions to expect at House Carlock on Thanksgiving this year:

1. Football on the television.
2. Golf on the television if my dad is lucky.
3. Near-delirious exultation regarding the wonderful free breakfast offered by the good people at Courtyard Marriott.
4. James running the terrifying gauntlet of three grandparents trying to talk to him and touch him.
5. The myriad of problems and solutions to the country's current political situation.
6. "When's the last time you changed the oil in car?"
7. "Do you know how bad that pop is for you?"
8. The amazing free breakfast at the hotel again.
9. Dueling snores in the Living Room: Grandpa Joe Versus Grandpa Jim.
10. The weather here and how it will never be as important as the weather back in Illinois.
11. The intricate, personal details and nuances of people my mother works with who I will never meet.
12. Seriously, the breakfast at the hotel! Holy shit!
13. "Speaking of food, when are we eating? I have to take my back pills!"
14. "Where's the coffee?" Asked by Grandpa Joe at 9:30 p.m.
15. My dad mumbling and gesturing toward the TV indicating he wants the channel changed.
16. My mother washing the dishes in the sink like the cavemen used to do because she has never used and refuses to trust a dishwasher.
17. A fart. (Grandpa Joe)
18. A burp. (Grandpa Joe)
19. An outrageously loud, misty sneeze. (Grandpa Joe)
20. Laughing. Because our family loves to laugh and have fun.

Obviously, picking on grandparents is easy. Jokes aside, I'm very excited to be hosting Thanksgiving in my home this year. It has been a difficult year adjusting to the absence of Grandma Eileen. Her presence will definitely be felt as we take time to reflect on the important things in life.

No comments: