iPhone Friday!

Happy Friday, Everybody! In case you just woke up from a coma or haven't been able to pull yourself away from all the Paris Hilton coverage (Did you hear? She was in jail!), Apple officially starts selling its much-hyped iPhone today.

No, you're not dreaming, it's all true. The one piece of electronic joy that you need to make your life complete is finally available for purchase.

And guess what... it's only $600!

And you know what else... you have to switch to AT&T to use it because Apple must have forgotten to make it accessible to the millions of people who don't use AT&T.

But don't worry! After forking over $600 and paying the criminally high price of cutting your Verizon service short, owning the iPhone will totally be worth it.

"But I already have a cell phone," you're saying to yourself. "And it was much cheaper. And I got to choose whatever service provider I wanted." Or those of you who own Blackberry's may be saying, "My toy can do all that stuff already." Well, I feel sorry for you people saying these things because you're obviously losers. You probably won't get invited to the cool parties, or asked to go to lunch with the hip coworkers. Nope, without the iPhone people probably won't want to have sex with you or even share the same hand railing on the Metro.

In fact, for those of you who do own the iPhone, I suggest you also get an iPhone cap to wear for the times when you're not actually using the iPhone so people will know you have one. (That joke was stolen from this hilarious iPhone ad from The Onion.)

In case the sarcasm was too subtle, I do not plan on getting the iPhone. Hopefully, my 30GB video iPod will still be enough to keep my friends talking to me. I wonder if I should put another Apple logo sticker on my car, just to be safe...

Here's some pictures of people waiting outside my nearest Apple store in Arlington.