D M V

Every once in a while events occur in our lives that remind us that sometimes things suck. Unavoidable things. Like going to the post office or the dentist or the DMV. I knew the night before that I was going to be experiencing an unpleasant event. I knew it.

I had to go to the DMV to renew my driver's license. I chose a Saturday because I really don't have the luxury to take a whole day off to spend at the DMV. I knew it would be busy. But I had to do it. I had to.

I waited in line for one hour before I even came close to the entrance. Getting to the door didn't excite me though because I knew that once I got inside the door I'd be given a number and asked to wait even more. I was waiting to wait. But I tried not to let my brain get cynical. I pretended I was at Disney World waiting to get on a fun, new ride. "Weeeeee! Where's my clipboard?"

At least you get to sit in a chair once you slowly break through the front entrance. "Hey, I was ahead of that guy!" How did D431 get called before C238? Who's running this show?

"C238, please report to window 2." Yes! (This is where the fun begins.)

"When did you surrender your Virginia license?"
"Excuse me?" Apparently, I was in the state computer system as unlicensed because I apparently surrendered my license to another state. Um, no.

"I need to talk to my manager." Shit.

The next hour was spent in DMV Limbo. Like a lost soul destined to roam the dimension between the living and the dead, I stood in a corner of the room, invisible. Floating chin deep in a cacophony of crying babies and confused non-English speaking foreign people. I was told to wait, but I no longer had an official number. I was at the mercy of the DMV manager who was not anywhere I could see. "Did he forget about me?" "Is he at lunch?" "Who do I ask for assistance?" My anxiety was reaching dangerous levels. Innocent bystanders were about to get hurt. I was so angry I almost felt like swearing!

And then the DMV manager appeared. He sent me to a window and I got my new license. An explanation? Nope. Done and done. New license in hand, I was led out of the chaotic room by Lynette. I believe I said "Get me the hell out of here," and she put my hand on her shoulder and tore through the weary crowds like a lineman creating a path to the end zone for a embattled running back. Touchdown.

The whole experience made me think about all those uncomfortable, painful, annoying things in life that we have to endure. There are certain things we must do. Certain things we must earn. Does it build character? Perhaps. Will I do it again someday? Probably. Do I still feel like swearing? You know it, mother-(Shut your mouth!)