Thursday, December 4, 2008

God bless America; Or, I love boobies!

Hello, citizens.

I trust you all watched the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show last night on CBS. Yeah, me too. Appropriately, it aired shortly after the classic family-favorite Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.

I'll be honest: I enjoyed seeing the women walk around in lingerie. I'll just go ahead and come clean right here, right now: I am a man who likes seeing attractive women nearly naked walk back and forth on a raised platform. I'm not sure I'd pay to see such an event, but I certainly wouldn't avert my eyes. As was the case last night. Truthishly, I really was tuned in to watch Rudolph. Then BAM! Boobies and high-heels!

So there I was watching the models strut their stuff. It was obvious that VS has their own hierarchy of models. I referred to them as the 1st string and 2nd string models. Obviously, Heidi Klum is a 1st stringer. Same with Adrianna Lima. (I only recently learned they had names because the show actually had opening credits displaying the names of the 1st string models. I'm being satirical, of course.)

There is a valuable lesson I learned while watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show: In these difficult economic times, one thing will always be there to comfort us and help guide us through the darkness... Beautiful women walking around in their skivvies.

I'm being serious. If you have a wife or husband or boyfriend or girlfriend, one thing will always be free and joyous: Gettin' naked and walking around the house, or watching your lover get naked and walk around the house. (If this not your idea of the gift that keeps on giving, then you have deeper problems that need to be addressed in a different post.)

No, really, I'm being serious. It's all about love, people. Or, maybe the true meaning of Christmas. And, no, you don't have to fork out money and buy fancy panties from Victoria's Secret to give your special someone that gift. I'm talking about a true appreciation for the sensual. A love for the affection reserved for the one you love. The best part: it's free.

And THAT is what the wonderful people from Victoria's Secret was trying to teach us last night. Even if you can't afford to put a ham on the table, you can still be thankful for your wife's gorgeous body. Or your husband's musky scent after he comes in from shoveling snow. Or the simple and immortal act of love. Be thankful for what is and has been in front of us the whole time: Beauty in its purest form.

For those of you who are a little slow on the uptake and can't read between my lines, go have sex with someone, preferably your significant other. Duh. Thanks, Victoria's Secret! Until next year, we await your eternal life lessons!

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