Monday, September 16, 2013

Get off my lawn, Part II

I vaguely saw some commotion among famous authors on Twitter this morning regarding something Jonathan Franzen wrote in The Guardian called "What's Wrong With the Modern World."

Salmon Rushdie said (via Twitter): Dear : and I are fine with Twitter. Enjoy your ivory tower.

Obviously, with those kinds of shots fired from such luminous literary giants I had to investigate, and form an opinion that no one gives a shit about.

First, I found the offending article and attempted to read it. I waded through a few paragraphs of some of the most pompous, snooty bullshit I've ever read before realizing that this is actually just some guy (with the luxury of being a famous author) talking about how technology is bad and that people are stupid for falling for Capitalism's way of attaching the words "hip" and "cool" to products as a way to sell the product. The "product" in question is technology.

Look, we're all entitled to our opinions. But when I become a famous author please remind me not to write an article about how "back in the good old days things were so much more genuine and better," etc. etc. and use references to philosophers as a way to justify my stubborn lack of adaptability. Way to alienate an entire generation, dumbass!

Second, if I hear one more person decry the evils of technology in our modern world I'm gonna run home and bite my pillow! Seriously, Twitter exists. People use it. Get over it. If you don't understand how to use it, try not to mock those that do. What will you complain about next? That Rock and Roll is the work of the Devil? Zzzzzz.

Third, I hate the fact that this guy's opinion is being discussed. Because if he was a nobody like me writing on a blog very few people know about, well, I'd have nothing to write about this morning, would I? I wonder if Mr. Franzen would have even written such a subjective article if he wasn't sure a large number of people would read it. I don't understand why anyone would want to be a Green Bay Packers fan, but I'm not going to waste my time writing a lengthy, elitist article about it. Unless I knew a bunch of Green Bay Packer fans were going to read it... hmmm... I'm on to you, Franzen!

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