My left shoulder is aching from the flu shot I received a few days ago. My employer made it mandatory. I'm not sure if they can do that, but I'm choosy when I shop for battles. At least this puncture is literal. A coworker refuses to get a flu shot because he believes it's our government's best way to insert... something. He never really gets specific about what exactly he fears is getting injected to the American peoples bodies. That's some Illuminati shit right there and in case they just flagged this blog because I mentioned their name, I for one welcome our mysterious, faceless overlords.
Maybe someday they'll accidentally inject a strange superpower into me. Or at least a new sense. I want the flu shot reserved for Peyton Manning or Leonardo DiCaprio or Paul McCartney. I'd even settle for a flu shot that allows me to be able to eat pickles. That way I wouldn't have to inspect every hamburger for randomly placed, meal-ruining pickle slices.
I don't like pickles. Wanna fight about it?