Saturday, August 20, 2011

Food Fight!

In the war (war?) between Anthony Bourdain and Paula Deen (There's a war between Anthony Bourdain and Paula Deen?) I wholeheartedly side with Tony.

My hatred (hatred?) of Paula goes back a ways. One only has to be in my home when her show comes on. I can't turn the channel fast enough. Yes, her food is dangerously unhealthy, but that's not my problem. It's her "personality." Acting like a drunk Southerner ain't funny and it ain't cool. (You know she lives in upstate New York, right?)

Anyway, Bourdain is a bit of a douche, but he at least acknowledges the ridiculousness of the recent crop of food celebrities that the Wal-mart crowd has exalted. Are there any shows left on Food Network that's actually only really about the food?  Alton Brown's contribution maybe. But his show has ended. (Not enough butter, I guess.)  Sure Rachel Ray is nice and cute and all, but do we really have to call sandwiches "sammies"?  Did that word need to be shortened?  Really?  If I hear one person in real life call it a "sammie" they're going to get one heck of a stink eye from me.

I like food and cooking shows. I have an interest in learning how to cook better food the right way. Dear Food Network: I do not own a deep fryer. And I can give two shits about motherlovin' "cupcake wars."  Just cook some freakin' food and end these lame "cake challenges" and competitions where a couple of poor fools have to impress some snooty judges that they were able to make a dessert out of eggplant and peanut shells.

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