Fat Mac

I am finally officially switching to Mac.  For the computer-illiterate, or the computer-I-don't-give-a-crap, I don't know what to compare it to that would illustrate the significance... I suppose if you're comfortable with sports analogies it would be like becoming a White Sox fan after years of rooting for the Cubbies.  Sacrilege! many would exclaim. On the internet, the war between PC users and Mac users rages on.  For years I was a soldier in the PC army.  I dismissed Mac (and most Apple products) as dumbed-down versions of  things adults use in the "real world."  Or, I considered the Mac (and most Apple products) "a computer even my mother could use."

But then I had a dream... In middle school, Lil Jason fell in love with the Apple IIc computer.  I joined Computer Club just to be near it.  I wanted one SOOOO bad.  Ugh, the yearning and eventual pain of never having one left a scar that is still healing.  In my parents defense, they would have had to take out a second mortgage on our house to afford one.  And of course there was that one kid in class who had one: Jim Cook, that little fucker.  Great guy, I'm sure, but I will always hate him because he had an Apple IIc.

Fast forward to college, 1996.  Young, virile, throbbing Jason needs a computer.  As luck would have it, my college years coincided with Steve Jobs' absence from Apple and the "Mac" I got sucked donkey dicks.  (That beige piece of shit currently rots in my parents' basement - the virtual grave yard of half-assed electronics. *Don't get me started on the Commodore Vic20 currently serving a life sentence in that basment.)

And so it was the decade of the 90's that pushed me into the cheap, diseased, virus-riddled arms of the PC.

I don't want to perpetuate the war between PC and Mac, but honestly, it's a no-brainer.  Sure, it costs more, but everyone knows the generic Oreo cookies taste like shit.  If you want an Oreo you pay for Oreos.  Simple.  And then after you bite into that Oreo you say to yourself, "Why the hell are we buying those cheap ass fake Oreos?"  As I often say, You get what you pay for.  Also, I need to lose some weight.