Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Oral

It is my sad duty to inform you that I have to get a root canal. But don't worry about me, I will be okay. I have endured much pain and agony throughout my life. I am a strong man. When I cry, I deny that I'm crying and blame it on my allergies. ("Fucking cats.") When I stub my toe I grunt like a bad ass and then move on with my day. When I drink NyQuil, my face twists into terrible shapes, but then I carry on with nary a complaint.

So take comfort, my friends. I shall overcome this minor, oral setback and bounce back into this toothy world with bright eyes and a positive outlook on life. Right now mere contact with cold liquid in my mouth nearly drops me to my knees, but in the end I will emerge victorious.


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