Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Dear women I see jogging every morning as I walk through the city streets of DC on my way to work:

When the heck do you work?! Because, WTF, it's not that early and you still have to run back home and jump in the shower and get ready and whatever.  By the time you walk out the door it'll be like nine or something.  Even if your job started at nine you're still going to be late.  But honestly, who starts at NINE anymore?  Hello! We don't live on TV! Normal Americans go to work in the dark and come home in the dark.  Screw those orange juice commercials that show Father entering the kitchen in the morning with his briefcase as he heads out the door with all his kids sitting at the table eating cereal, Sun ablaze in the windows..  Judging from the lighting in those commercials it looks to be about noon!  Screw you orange juice commercial guy, going to work at noon.  But seriously, you women jogging past me on my way to work, get a job. 

Or maybe you don't have a job. And then that means you're even further removed from reality. And to that I say, what's up with the skin tight, black Spandex pants?  I hate to sound shallow, but you ain't ready for those yet.

Your pal,

Guy walking to work checking out your ass as you run by.

1 comment:

Lucky1304 said...

Well... I don't know what time you walk to work, but if I am working from home on a given day, I could run later in the morning, depending on my schedule. The kids get dropped off at 8:15 and 8:45, so I could potentially run at 9 and be home to start working at 9:45. Or, more typically, start running around 6:15 and be home to work around 7. Really, if the husband didn't have to leave for work at 7:20, I'd have a lot of flexibility in timing my runs.

I also have a neighbor who is an attorney and they typically start their work day later because they work until later at night.

Or these women stay home to take care of various children. In which case, they are firmly entrenched in reality (hardest job EVER).

You probably weren't looking for a bunch of different scenarios, but I'm feeling helpful this morning. :)

I'm with you on the spandex though if that helps.