Logic is a gift. Like a shiny new Craftsman hammer. But like that hammer, logic is merely a tool. If it's a house you're trying to build you're going to need more tools.
When it comes to God and Christ and the Bible I am merely a student. A learner. I understand faith and feel myself moving closer to it every day, but it's not like a light switch for me. I wasn't able to just turn it on. Sure I went to Sunday School, etc., but that kind of faith is like choosing between milk chocolate and devil's food cake. As an adult beginner there's a new level of intellectuality that factors into my decision making process.
Recently, there's one aspect of Christianity that has been a challenge for me: Loving people. I don't mean Mom and Dad and Lynette and your Aunt Tilly. I mean PEOPLE. How do I truly love people as I love myself?
I live in a heavily populated region of the country. I ride public transportation. I stand in line at grocery stores. How in the world am I expected to love these annoying people?!
Is empathy the same as love? Probably not. I can empathize, but that's not enough. I'm not asking a rhetorical question here... How do I love the people that annoy me? How do I love people that do me wrong? How do I love people that scare me? How do I love the person riding my ass in the car behind me?
4 comments:
Jason,
Definitely can't reason love! Honestly, you can't force yourself to love. Just like many other things, love is a process, love is a discipline.
For me, not trying to prescriptive, but I seen this work for me.
1. I see people not as they are (idiots, jerks, stupid people, ignorant, or just different from me.) I see them how they can be...I see a greater potential in their life.
2. I see people within the confines and boundaries of my faith, I realize how messed I am, I was and I can be...I see how it can be hard to love me at times or all the time. I see how God love me enough through His Son, even though I was a horrible person. This gives a different perspective on love.
3. Along with the though above, learning to love with expecting anything in return. This deals more with my understanding of the faith that I have and know I have a God who unconditionally loves me.
4. This one is hard. Definitely easier said than done, have a willingness and an attitude of forgiveness. Yes people will totally do things that you don't like, hurt you or do things to annoy...be willing to forgive them...I find this goes along way in tearing down some walls and given me the capability to love people.
5. Instead of empathy. I try to live out my life with compassion. Empathy is more of a feeling or though about someone or a situation. Compassion is being intentional on loving through actions or deeds.
Not sure if any of that makes sense. But those are the things that has helped me in the process. Love is not so much a feeling, yes it stirs emotions, but it is indeed action oriented response to someone.
Chris
Thank you for your thoughts, Chris. You said something that might be the key: Forgiveness. Can I forgive people their faults? Of course. I have plenty and I hope they forgive me mine. I'm going to start there. In the end, regardless of success or failure, can you imagine what kind of world this would be if everyone at least tried?
I agree Jason! If we all truly try to love one another..show it with our actions. It would make a huge difference...in our life but in the life of others.
Jason, I wrestle with these thoughts as well. I am no where near where I need to be or want to be.
I believe Chris has it in point 5: compassion is the key. In my understanding of it, compassion takes it further than empathy and even love itself. Buddha said "Compassion is that which makes the heart of the good move at the pain of others. It crushes and destroys the pain of others; thus, it is called compassion. It is called compassion because it shelters and embraces the distressed." I see that as a step beyond love. It goes past acceptance and forgiveness, which is really just about me and my perspective of that person, and instead fills me with the deepest desire for that person to never feel suffering of any kind. There is a mantra in Shambhala meditation that simply states "may all sentient beings be free from suffering". This feels, to me, to transcend any love I could ever muster. For me this also slips my mind past any logical or emotional momentary apprehension I may have about any one or two individuals. The person before me becomes my equal. No more or less worthy of the mercy deserving of any other sentient being.
As for forgiveness: I am not a fan. I don't see its purpose. But that is another discussion altogether.
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