"But, Jason, she told me she doesn't want anything."
Yeah, I know, all the "cool," "with it" chicks have that same front: Valentine's Day is below me, Valentine's Day is a greeting card holiday, Valentine's Day is for morons. Guess what, she still wants flowers.
"But, Jason, she told me flowers are silly because they die."
I don't care what she said. She still wants them. And she wants to get them at work. (Note: Women secretly hate each other and will grab any opportunity to belittle their fellow female competitors. Your contribution is greatly appreciated.)
I know y'all think you're smarter than the average citizen and that you're too cool for school, but some things never change. In my time on this planet as a cock wielding student of the ladies, certain truths remain constant:
- Women want a big wedding, preferably with a Def Leppard cover band as the wedding band.
- Women want to have seven babies.
- Women yearn for frequent requests from their husbands for alternative sex acts.
- Women want god dammed flowers on Valentine's Day.