Something happened this weekend. Something meaningful. Though, not cheerful. I can best describe my emotions with one word: Sobering.
What I'm feeling is somewhat euphoric, but at the same time solemn. It's that same feeling one gets after the end of a long, torrid relationship. When one person makes the decision to end what can best be described as a series of disappointments, regardless of a few moments of joy sprinkled throughout. Eventually, the love affair must end. Eventually, you have to ask yourself, "How many times am I going to allow him/her to let me down?" "How long will I continue devoting so much of myself to this relationship with little or nothing in return?"
I am speaking about the Chicago Cubs. The best team in the National League this year. Swept by the Dodgers as if they were some crappy Wild Card team lucky to even be in the playoffs. My anger and shame go beyond words, so I will not sit here and make you read some sad tirade about why the Cubs suck, etc.
Instead, I will tell you that I am embarrassed to wear my Cubs hat. I can't do it. I can't walk around in public with that thing on my head.
You see, there is only so much abuse one can take from something he loves. Eventually, you have to step back and ask yourself, "What am I getting out this?" I have stood by my losing team loss after loss, but this one feels different. This one cuts deeper. This one is making me question my relationship with baseball in general.
Mentally, I'm tired. The season is long. And I don't know if I can do it again. I can't go all season knowing the Cubs are the best team in baseball only to lose it so quickly in the postseason.
Poof. Gone. Like it never existed.
Right now that's me. Poof. Gone.
If I had to decide right now whether or not to continue my thankless relationship with baseball I'd say so long. If I had to decide RIGHT NOW - I'm out. I'm done.
If this were a relationship with a woman, I would've dumped her ass a long time ago.
So... What does the future hold? Well, I guess we'll see. Maybe the Cubs and I will bump into each other somewhere down the road. Maybe not. Can't say. And honestly, I don't really care.
Moving forward... I think I'll go watch some football. (Bears won yesterday.)
1 comment:
If only I had the patience and drive to write a blog myself, I think my latest entry would look exactly like yours. Down to the very last detail. I went to Eli's the other night, about halfway through game 3 and as I parked the Jeep, I took the hat off my head and chucked it into the back seat with a vengeance. I didn't want to deal with the looks and pity I would receive in the bar. Instead, the tears did that anyway.
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