Monday, May 7, 2012

Farmer's Market 2.0

I was strolling through our neighborhood farmer's market yesterday on an idyllic late morning when it occurred to me that there were a few things missing that absolutely could cater to the throngs of young, white, newly babied couples.  Because if the guy who makes rocking horses gets a booth, then other non-vegetative kiosks should be allowed to represent.  Like an arcade. With old school stand up machines.  And a puppet theater (with or without magician).  A crossbow range.  You're lying if you think you wouldn't love to finally shoot a crossbow.  And a tent with several recliner chairs surrounded by TVs for when the other spouse peruses the buggy radishes and over priced ______________________ (fill in the blank).  For the golfers, one of those simulated driving range thingies and a putting green.  Judging from the youthfulness of our yuppie neighbors, a discreet "adult" table would make quite a bit of money selling sex toys, etc.  (In fact, that would be the most popular table except no one would admit it.  Conservative prudishness is the silent killer.)  The coffee table sold decent tasting coffee, but I would have an actual espresso machine out there making espressos to order, served in real cups.  No fruity bullshit milkshakes - just espresso.  Order one, drink it, and get the fuck out.  And maybe a pancake booth would do well.  Like Eastern Market's famous blueberry buckwheat pancakes (only sold on Saturday and Sunday mornings) that people line up for in DC.

Maybe a band, too.  Or at least a guy in the back playing the spoons.    

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