Fancy New Lamps

When I got to work this morning I found two new things on my desk: A fancy new lamp, and a half-drank bottle of Mountain Dew. Funny thing, I needed neither.

Looks like we all got fancy new desk lamps because they're everywhere. And the boxes that held these fancy new lamps are strewn about the office. And there's a crew of men walking around "installing" the fancy new lamps and making sure we all love our fancy new lamps. I've never seen these men before, but they look like they wouldn't find it funny if I said these fancy new lamps were probably our Christmas bonuses.

To their credit, this crew of men "installed" these fancy new lamps with precision and efficiency not often seen in our office.

As I am wont to do, I have turned these fancy new lamps into a metaphor. Sometimes we get new things in life even if we don't want them. And sometimes they come with a half-drank bottle of Mountain Dew. Lesson: Put the half-drank bottle of Mountain Dew on someone else's desk and turn on the fancy new lamp.

Then clean off your keyboard, you filthy human. Because we're disgusting. Thankfully.